My daughter’s school was closed for three days.
Her holidays were a lot of fun, but it ended badly.
That was very pleasant holidays, but it changed completely last night when I told my second daughter to show her homework before she went to bed.
She showed me her blank notebook.
She didn’t do her homework.
She was totally forget and she never reminded it all this holidays.
The fox promise
Two months ago, she made the same mistake.
Her sister never forgot to do her homework, so I was completely off guard.
I asked her if she had done her homework before she went to bed and if she was ready for school, but I didn’t actually look at her contact book and notebook.
At that time, I found out that she had neglected her homework, even though she had forgotten it many times before.
She left it until then.
I scolded her harshly, saying that it is not a humans but a foxes who can slyly deceive.
She promised me to do her homework as soon as she got home from school.
She regretted it and started doing her homework as soon as she got home.
She hasn’t forgotten her homework for the past two months.
My cruel mistake
This time, she had no intention of going to school without doing her homework.
She really just forgot.
I knew that, but I scolded her severely.
I couldn’t help but take my anger out on her.
It was because I’d asked her many times over past three days if she was ready for school.
I said to her,
“You should go to the foxes world. We promised before.”
She said,
” No! “
I said,
” We promised before, and I asked you several times for three days.
Why you didn’t it !?
You ignored my advice and just did what you wanted to have fun with.
Go to the world of foxes and keep doing what you want.
You don’t have to go to school either.
Just keep playing games in the world of foxes.”
She said,
” No! I don’t go to the world of foxes.”
I said,
“This is a result of your choice.”
She looked embarrassed and did her homework in polite handwriting while being scolded by me.
May we be in love, not anger.
I knew I shouldn’t say no more.
I needed some alone time to cool off.
I took deep breath and took a bath.
I asked my angels to guide me not to vent my anger, but to teach her love.
She has an amazing talent for staying in the moment and having fun.
On the other hand, she forgets everything else.
She always exist in that moment, and it connects more and more and time passes.
I admire her enlightened way of being, but at the same time, I’m worried about her because of that.
I reconsidered that there was no point in getting angry with her like this, and that there was a danger of lowing her self-esteem.
Getting out of the bath, I went to her and apologized for saying something that scared her.
I checked her homework and we studied together.
After she got out of the bath, we hugged and talked about her problem.
I asked her how she feels now.
She said she was very sad.
And then I asked her what she could do to remember to do her homework.
She said,
“It would be good to unlock my backpack’s key as soon as I got home.
If I do that, I’m sure I’ll do my homework right away, so I won’t forget it.”
I said,
“I’m sure it will work. Please do your best not to forget your homework. I will help you.
I think maybe you will forget it again, but when that happened, let’s think of a better way together.”
She listened to me silently.
I continued.
” This time you made a mistake and the whole family had a bad time because of it.
And, what I told you wasn’t beautiful.
I’ll never say to you about the fox again. I’m really sorry. I was wrong.
I will always love you even if you make the same mistake again.
I made the same mistake many times when I was little.
I’m an adult now, but I still make mistakes all the time, like today.
You are a good girl. I will try to be a good mother. Let’s grow together.”
She cried so much.
We went to bed and I hugged her little body.
She cried for a while, but soon fell asleep.
It’s hard to be a good mother.
I learned a lot from this problem.
It is really hard to be a good mother.
I really want to be.
I think, all I can do is be honest with my kids.
Recognize when they do something great, and apologize to children when I mistake.
I want the patience to put up with the things I shouldn’t say, and the calmness to seek the words that bring out the best in my children.
She came home in the rain and immediately started doing her homework.
After she finished her homework, we will eat a delicious snack together while listening to her story at school.
